I’ve never really been afraid of much, truth be told. Something happening to The Hubs or one of the kids tops my list, or with any of the remaining ‘Starting Lineup’ of my eight sibs or their extended families. But after that, not much. God has carried me through a lot of thick-and-thin I don’t necessarily need to recapture (too many years of shrink and meditation time to revisit those…) and I have great faith that He has continued purpose for me that is not yet even glimpsed.
Having stared hurricanes in the eye, been through lock-downs and lock-ups (yes, really…), buried all four of The ‘Rents and numerous others, lost in the market, in the career, in health, and gained in responsibilities and obligations… still not scared by much.
But this time, I must admit, it’s shook me to the core. This unseeable, in some case incurable, fluid and indiscriminate Covid condition. Perhaps I am just too pandemic exhausted at this point to regain my strength and internal fight. Or perhaps, this once, I am afraid.
Take what you can, leave now, we aren’t sure when we will return – March 17, 2020
Wash it, mask it, avoid it, BUY it! My Corona – not the beer – April Fools! 2020
Hi, this is Jace from the FSCJ Cares Team calling to check in on you – April 15, 2020
All Summer session courses are remote with the option of traditional, synchronous or asynchronous online, which course were you trying to override into? – May 4, 2020
Welcome to Summer B, Faculty. This supply bag is for your return to on-campus classes, we are available through email at… – May 26, 2020 (August 2020, January 2021, May 2021, Today, 2021…)
And so the dialogue goes, all the way ‘til now.
I’m lucky. I have The Oasis as a very comfortable remote and flexible on-site coverage keeps me engaged but with limited exposure. I have The Hubs to coincidentally pass on a trip for coffee or a sandwich. I have the grown-up kids as part of my ‘bubble’ and their periodic visits brighten the isolation. I have The Jungle to occupy my mind and spirit, the ‘outside’ inspires me to breathe deeply, relax, and to quote The Hubs in one word or less ‘Let-It-Go’.
I have a great team, a comfortable bed, lots of books, a working cell and a job.
And I have faith. Now I am not so much afraid. Cautious, prepared, ready, but strengthened by fifteen months of challenge, loss, fear, sorrow, disgust, disappointment – offset by Zooms and virtual Happy Hours, new techie discoveries and resurgence of old hobbies and interests.
And I have my words. As I pen-and-send a little story most days — intended to glimpse further into me and bring a smile or reflection to one who might need it — I am grateful to be intrigued, inspired and challenged in an unexpected way and able to capture and share it with good humor and a positive spin.
Out, damn Covid, out I say! What doesn’t kill you makes you strong – July 1, 2021